Tuesday, June 2, 2015

Preparing to be a Father

Mark 11:22

"Have faith in God," Jesus answered.

We’re almost 37 weeks. I so like touching the baby bump and the look on my wife’s face glowing with expectation.
I see more and more baby things in the house now. All for a person who is yet to see the world.

I think about what she would look like. I think about how she would smell? I think about putting my finder on the folds of her arms and leg.
I think I can hear her voice. The sound of her cry, her giggles, her call for attention.

We talk about how to raise her. We talk about the sacrifices we are willing to take. That Mommy would stay at home and Daddy goes out to work.
While we wait for the labor pain to signal, we are ready. The books, the bags, the contacts. The plan is all in place.

All these going on, I should be happy. But, why do I feel unbalanced? Why do I feel uneasy. I feel such a strong emotion I cannot contain.
I look in my heart, is it fear? Is it a fight against responsibility? Is it a feeling of helplessness? Is it that I feel that things are going out of control?

All I know, is that my heart is pounding, my emotions are raging, my mind is searching for answers… I do not know.
Can I be a good Father?

I can’t find the answer.
I can’t sake this feeling What should I do?
I do not know.

I’ll let the feeling stay and trust that all will be well. That the answers I am looking for will be revealed in due time.
I’ll  trust that I will be capable to handle whatever comes my way.

For now, I’ll be a supporting husband.
Someone who carries a whole lot of understanding, patience and love.

Ready to Take Action expect the Best

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